So sad reading those super old post:( I have definately came along way emotionally since then. I have so many positive things to look forward to now!!! It's going to take a lot of work, but I know it will all be worth it in the end. I'm making my dreams come true!

Good morning! Okay two weeks of me feeling depressed/sorry for myself, and I'm so over it.

Maybe I had an epiphany in my sleep, or maybe it's the six cups of dunkin donuts coffee, but today I feel better. Not completely better, but better non the least. It's time to get proactive. Moping around never helped anyone. I just have to figure out what I'm going to do. I need to brainstorm, and come up with some brilliant ideas. I know I want so much more out of life right now. I just have to find a way to get there. Time to get busy!!!!

So much for a daily dose! It's been awhile. I haven't felt like doing anything lately. At first I thought it was just the weather making me feel crappy, but I think it's more than that. I'm not very good at talking about my feelings, and when I don't I just bottle them up inside. Then it has a way of boiling over when it reaches a certain point, and I'm left feeling miserable. I know myself enough to realize I'm this way, but yet I still do it anyway. I've been like this forever. Growing up I always kept a diary. It somehow alway made me feel better to write my feelings down. Just to spew all of the shit onto paper and get it off my chest was theraputic. I'm hoping this blog will help in the same sense. I think advise and insights from other people won't hurt either.

Right now I have two major bugs up my ass! I'm really hating my custody situation with Bj(ex-husband), and I'm not happy with where my career is at. Our custody agreement is this: we each have her every other week. Going a whole week without the child I created inside of me is sooooo hard! I just long for her when she isn't here with me. It's like I'm not complete when she isn't here. As much as it hurts I know it's selfish of me to feel this way. I should be thrilled for her that she has a father, and family that loves her and wants to be there for her as much as I do. Still, it totally sucks. I have goods weeks with this and bad weeks. It's been a bad week! It doesn't help that I'm on the fence about my work situation, and I'm stressing about that as well. I like the people I work with, but I just don't think it's where I need to be. I'm thinking I would be a lot happier if I had my own studio to work out of. To be able to focus on my work without the distraction would be good for me. I need to find my direction. I'm nervous about going off on my own though. Yikes! My coworkers have become my close friends, and I worry about hard feelings. Also the financial aspect of it worries me! Oh how I wish life were easier. Working through tough situations is what makes me stronger though, so wish me luck! I've got to do something to get out of this funk, and get back to being a ball of sunshine!!!!!

FIrst blog ever! I love to write, and always have a lot to talk about so here it goes. I'm staying at home with my little lady today. She's watching cartoons as I sit here typing. I'm supposed to be picking up my tax return check in Astoria later today. Other than that, it's going to be a pretty uneventful day. Winter brings out the laziness in me. I feel like I could just stay in my house, and hibernate until it's 50 degrees outside. I can't wait to sit on the deck with coffee in the morning. Instead I'm sitting here at the kitchen table looking out at the snow covered deck. Blah! Oh well. That's Fulton county for you.